First I gotta say that in like May or June, my laptop got some virus and I lost everything on it, so I have basically no good pictures from the first half of the year.
In January 2012- I have no idea what happened because it was like a year ago and I have no recollection of it :)
February-
I got engaged to Cody.
March- Nothing special happened, and oh, I don't have any pictures of anything.
April-
We celebrated one year of my brother being married :) yay for a sister (in-law)!
I turned 20 :)
Cody and I went to a PBR (Professional Bull Riding) event in Indianapolis which was AWESOME.
May-
This post is turning out to be a bad idea because I can't seem to remember anything and I don't have any pictures :( I'm regretting deleting my facebook....
June-
I got married
I moved home from my apartment in Indianapolis
My lovely brother turned 23 :)
July-
I celebrated 2 years of BATMAN :)
I prided myself in having finished a whole year of school.
I went the second year in the row without seeing a single firework for the 4th of July, which was incredibly depressing.
I got my job at the barn, and was blessed with a great friendship with my boss, along with great horse-related opportunities :)
Cody and I went to an IPRA rodeo. His first ever.
August-
Fall was finally sort of coming and I loved it :)
I was blessed with an incredibly opportunity to meet an amazing friend that has impacted my life tremendously.
I went to lots of yard sales.
Cody and I took a roadtrip to Newport Aquarium in Kentucky and we went to Cincinatti Zoo which is still my favorite zoo.
I went to the INDIANA STATE FAIR, which may or may not be my favorite thing of the year. Such good food.
(August is my favorite month, and I'm depressed that I don't have good pictures from it)
September-
I rode a lot of horses :)
I did a lot of driving back and forth for school.
I did a lot of homework. (story of my life, up until now)
October-
Fall was in full swing. I purchased my first pumpkins ever and ate at least 100 carmel apples.
I ended my classroom school time and started my externship at T&C Vet Clinic.
I grew up a little bit.
Clifford (the medium-sized red truck) came into my life and I love him a lot :)
I rode this girl a lot.
My family spent a day in Nashville :)
November-
I was in full work mode! Did my externship constantly.
My family spent some time at Brown County State Park.
Nando did a lot of swimming when it was freezing outside.
I graduated from college, earned my degree, and kissed International Business College goodbye forever :)
My uncle married the best girl ever on 11.11.11(+1) at 1:23pm. No lie. Because they are crazy like that.
December-
Nando turned 8 years old. My baby is growing up <3
Christmas came and went rather uneventfully.
The vet clinic I was externing at offered me a full time job, which I accepted. That turned out to be one of the most rewarding decisions I've made.
My Daddy turned 50. And no one dared make a big deal out of that fact. :)
----------------------------------------------------
Looking back at this year, it has been the hardest, most painful and miserable year of my life. I know I'm only 20, and I've had it pretty easy most of my life, but this year really showed me how hard life is. I've never felt so hurt and lonely and just plain miserable as I have this year. I wish I could look back at 2012 and remember lots of really great things, but the truth is that I just can't.
Generally people are happy about bringing in the new year, and I am so happy to be getting a fresh start, but I'm overwhelmed by the disappointment I'm feeling in myself over the past year. I can't help but feel like I could have done so much better.
Did God bless me with a lot the past year? Yes, he never fails to. But overall, this past year has been horrible, and I'm glad to be bidding it farewell.
I know I messed up. I made some of the worst mistakes of my life this year, and looking back I realize how just plain stupid and hard headed I can be/have been. I wish so badly that I could take back a lot that happened, but life doesn't work that way.
HOWEVER, that being said, I'm constantly reminded that I'm not a complete failure. I'm proud of myself. I graduated college. I managed to balance working a full-time job, a part-time job, and school. Not to mention surviving marriage and hanging on during a storm that doesn't seem to ever want to let up. I've grown up this year so much, and I've learned a lot about myself.
I lost a lot of really great friends this year that I miss terribly. This year has been such a big wake-up call that life isn't like it used to be when you grow up. You're school friends move on to have lives of their own, lives that don't include you anymore. It is crazy sad to say goodbye to people at the end of a season and know it's a forever goodbye. But that's life. And that's okay.
I could go on forever talking about myself and how I feel about my life. Maybe a New Year's Resolution for me should be to be less self-absorbed :) But I don't make New Year's Resolutions so nevermind.
I wanna take a second to thank God for:
Family that, although they are hard on you a lot, love you no matter what. You've taught me that it's okay to fail sometimes. It's okay to make a mistake, and even when you do, family won't walk out on you. They are in your life forever. So it's okay to make a mistake. Everyone does.
Friends that show you what LOVE really means. That stick by you when absolutely no one else would. One in particular. You've showed me that it's ok to lean on someone when you're too tired to stand on your own. And you've always been a rock-solid wall I can count on. I've never had a friend like that, and I thank God every day for allowing me the opportunity to share my life with someone so special.
My job(s)...I can't say enough how incredible it is to be able to work for the people i work for. I love my jobs so so much and it's amazing to me that I can spend time doing what I'm so passionate about.
Cody For putting up with me for a whole six months. Who knows what the future holds, but I hope to God it's easier than the last six months. Thanks for being patient with me. I know I deserve to be pinched sometimes :) You've showed me that a promise is a promise. I can't say enough for how great you've been sticking with this as best as you know how. Every storm runs out of rain...or so they tell me.
Lastly I want to thank God for never giving up on me. This year I've felt like that one sheep that runs away from the 99, and the Shepherd leaves those 99 to look for that one sheep (Luke 15:4). No matter how far you think you've run from Him, he finds you. You just have to be willing to be found by him. But I am soooooooo thankful that his mercies are new EVERY SINGLE MORNING.
Lyrics from a song I love:
"The only time I ever saw God run was when He ran to me, took me in his arms, held my head to His chest and said "My son's come home again", lifted my face, wiped the tears from my eyes. With forgiveness in His voice He said "Son, do you know I still love you?" -When God Ran.
So in conclusion.... I'm a drama queen right now :) My friends are rubbing off on me :) This day has been emotional, and I'm venting. So I apologize to all reading this.
I'm thankful for a fresh start, and I'm determined to make the most of the next year.
Here's to 2013!
♫ My love, there's only you in my life. The only thing that's bright...your eyes-
They tell me how much you care. Two hearts that beat as one...Cause you mean the world to me. You know I've found in you my endless love.♫
Lionel Richie "My Endless Love"
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