Rant.

Risk: possibility of loss or injury.
In order to get something that you really want, I think it's necessary to take some risks. I'm dead set on getting something, and I'm willing to get hurt again just to try and get it. There are always situations that can scare you to death just thinking about what COULD happen. But you'll never know if you don't take a chance. Dive in. And if you get hurt, you'll heal. Done it before and you can do it again.
Taking a risk is sometimes worth the price you paid. But then again, sometimes it isn't.

Also. Is it really too much to ask to have a 100% good weekend for once? This past weekend was going to be perfect, and then something happens that ruins all the fun you thought you were having. It makes everything that has happened feel like a lie. I don't want to be just another girl.
♫I'm so tired of being lonely...don't I give you what you need?♫


1. don't say something if you don't mean it with 100% of your heart.
2. be loyal. no matter what
3. dont lie. for goodness sakes i'm not stupid. lying to my face about it hurts more than the actual act.
4. I don't have to do this. no one is irreplaceable.
5. if you're gonna call yourself a Christian, act like it. All the time. Not when people are watching.
6. Integrity...look it up.
7. watch your step. Just because there's an obstacle placed in your way doesn't mean you have to run into it.
8. you have no idea how lucky you are to have someone until you've lost them.
9. treat people like you'd want to be treated. put yourself in my shoes, and then tell me how that feels.
10. I am a firm believer in "what goes around comes around"... i just call it "sowing and reaping".

I just wish we could go back to a time that we didn't have cell phones, facebook, computers, email, text, all that junk. it would make my life so much easier.
Oh, and grow up.

All that to say, the walls around this girl's heart are back up. Higher this time than they were before. One step forward and two steps back. Welcome to my life. Can't trust anyone apparently. Except God I guess.

This post is way way too long.

Photos :)

 Took a trip to
the barn today. :)

insight.

I'm going to be a photographer. 

Decided today. It's gonna happen. I love photography too much to not allow it to be a huge part of what I do. SO...I'm going for it. Along with being a vet tech :)

I spent the day with my best friend. It's refreshing to be able to talk to her and gain a bit of perspective on some things. She always leaves me with a feeling of...confidence I guess. I feel like I can actually make all my craziest dreams come true, like maybe those dreams aren't so crazy after all. 

Along with deciding I'm going to do photography for real, I've decided I'm going to start writing again. Who says you can't have more than one job? Journalism can be a side thing too. :)

I'm getting really excited seeing all of these pieces of my life falling into place. I spend every day picturing how my life is going to play out after I finally get out of school. 

I also just discovered a new country band, Coldwater Jane, that I am in love with. 

♫I got a will like a freight train, hellbent on barreling through. I wont crawl in the corner and wither, cuz theres something to prove when theres nothing to lose. The world will wear you right down to the bone, make your tired heart want to put your dreams up for sale, but you’ve been tossed around like a rag doll enough,  up and down on your luck, it’ll either make you frail or tough as nails.♫ <-- So true about me hah

I also wanna say thank you to all of my friends that support me so much no matter what. I know most of them won't ever read this, but my friends mean the world to me, and I thank God every day for them. I wouldn't be where I am without my best friends.

I'm happy. Really happy. And almost content. For the first time in months. =] thanks to God, the fact that its almost winter, my Nikon camera, my family, my amazing best friend Victoria, Nate, Nando, and the best guy in the whole world=Cody. 

I couldn't live without any of that/them, and I'm so glad I'll never have to know what it feels like to not have them in my life.

Have I mentioned I love writing? =]

Deuces for tonight. 

John 10:10 [Jesus says] I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.

Rodeo Daze

I have so much I want to do...I need a vacation. And some money. =]
1. I want to go back to the National Finals Rodeo at Freedom Hall.
2. I want to go hunting REAL BAD. And learn to shoot a bow.
3. I NEED to ride a horse, like now.
4. I've decided I hate living in Indy. The city sucks real bad.
5. I'm thrilled to death that winter is coming. Turned on the heat today, smells like my house is on fire. But it's so great.
6. I miss my mom.
7. I'm never coming back to Indiana. Ever.
8. I love making lists. =]

Hope today stays nice. Woke up to sunshine. It's gonna be a good day.

5 months later...

Chapter 2.
Life.Is.Good...

Independent. Finally. Going to school for Veterinary Technology. Making all my wildest dreams come true.
I've got a God bigger than any problem I've encountered. A family more generous than most.
And a heart that still isn't satisfied.

One year until graduation
One month until I finally get to see my big brother
I'm so so blessed and I'm losing sight of just how good I have it amidst all of the junk life throws at me.

16 months until Colorado. And it can't come soon enough.
And I'm falling in love with the man of my dreams. Cody <3


John 14:6 Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.